transition

i feel like i am on my way, in transit between worlds.

it is an odd kind of emotion really, in transit - the curious feeling of rootlessness, almost of weightlessness, that you don't belong where you currently are now. somehow the gravity of the old world isn't pulling you down anymore and the gravity of the new hasn't started to act on you yet. perhaps it's like being on a figurative spaceship, blasting out from earth, you know? though i haven't ever been on one.

all i know is that somehow halfway on guard duty there was this strange moment of clarity during which i didn't feel like i was really there at an unearthly hour prowling around a deserted (and f***ing large) camp. but then again it didn't feel like i was anywhere else.

so it was a feeling of being nowhere, or rather, being half in and half out, neither here nor there. which sort of qualifies as a nowhere, i suppose.

***

i know analogies are beguiling, but come to think of it, human relationships are so much like the theories of the firm.

well except perfect competition. which more or less never happens.

you see, large groups of friends are just like monopolistic competition, where people just try to stand out and get more attention. product differentiation, in a sense.

while cliques are just oligopolies. which may explain 'nonprice competition' - e.g. backstabbing, badmouthing, etc.

and relationships are just monopolies. which is why perhaps some people crave for it. they use it to leverage on their importance to the 'market' in order to maximize profits.

a wedding makes it a legal monopoly and raises the barriers to entry much higher.

=)

***

and then, there's astor piazzola.

how can one describe the sensual, almost erotic sound of a violin descending chromatically?

i can't. but it sends a shiver down my back.